Before anything else, the photo used isn’t mine.
“You’ve mistaken Pluto for Venus.”
That exact sentence is what filled my head for the next hours that came after our lovely encounter. I can still remember how her eyes stared back at mine and how I was silently waging a war in myself because a part of me wanted to make a move and reach my hand out towards her. It was my chance, but those words of hers stopped me. Those words made me freeze and become speechless. I could feel her emptiness and her insecurities. They were what made her view herself in such way.
She is Venus. I can say so. I know so. But she denied that. She thinks that she’s Pluto. How sad! How can a planet that is so close to the sun consider itself as distant and isolated? She should have known better! She is Venus. Ah, this hurts me! Dearest Venus doesn’t know her worth and thinks that she’s lonely and insignificant. She thinks that people are denying her of her existence! She thinks that she’s not good enough to be Venus even if she is Venus! How can the world make her feel like that?
I see her in the sky sometimes and she’s brighter than other stars and even other planets. That’s how she is. So how can she consider herself as Pluto? It makes no sense! The sun is brighter, no, it is the brightest, but that is a given. Venus has a competition when it comes to this and Pluto is a petty existence. So why? How can she be what she claims herself to be?
“Look. See me as who I am, not as the perfect girl your mind has turned me into,” she added after claiming herself as pitiful Pluto.
I tried to calm myself and refrain myself from answering back during that time. She gave me a stare. I knew that it was a stare that should make me feel her coldness, but all I could feel was warmth despite her words. That warmth is what made me silent back then. I was afraid that if I spoke, I might never feel the same warmth ever again. I might never have the same girl look into my eyes ever again. So even if I wanted to shout at her and tell her that she’s not a pathetic existence that used to be as significant as others, I shut up. Even though I didn’t want to hear those words, I didn’t speak up because I might lose her. And I didn’t want that.
“If you were really Pluto, you’re still not that insignificant because to an astronaut like me, you still have so many mysteries that I want to know.”